WTF News

Drug addict repeatedly punched paramedic’s breasts but denies biting cop because ‘I’ve nae teeth’
http://metro.co.uk/2017/09/07/drug-addict-repeatedly-punched-paramedics-breasts-but-denies-biting-cop-because-ive-nae-teeth-6909371/#mv-a

Sex robots could kill you if they are hacked, expert warns.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/09/09/sex-robots-could-kill-you-if-they-are-hacked-expert-warns-6915172/

Wife arrested for punching husband after he interrupted her ‘pleasuring herself’

http://nypost.com/2017/09/15/wife-arrested-for-punching-husband-after-he-interrupted-her-pleasuring-herself/

Mr. Happy wrote:Mammoths are back in vogue it seems https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/feb/16/woolly-mammoth-resurrection-scientists?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=213681&subid=18604711&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2

They could help preserve the tundra and stop it from collapsing into big methane-burping holes in the ground.

Think I saw it in an episode of Vice.

COUPLE HOSPITALIZED AFTER MAN GETS HIS HEAD STUCK IN HIS WIFE’S VAGINA

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/couple-hospitalized-after-man-gets-his-head-stuck-in-his-wifes-vagina/

Does it still count if it's fake

In case you needed to know:

http://hoax-alert.leadstories.com/3468770-fake-news-couple-not-hospitalized-after-man-gets-his-head-stuck-in-his-wifes-vagina.html

Man takes spirit level on a plane to prove the Earth is flat.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/conspiracy-theorist-takes-spirit-level-11183246

Jogger won’t stop pooping on family’s lawn: http://nypost.com/2017/09/19/jogger-wont-stop-pooping-on-familys-lawn/

Gay Marriage Postal Vote Has ‘BUMSEX’ On The Barcode

https://www.unilad.co.uk/lgbt/gay-marriage-postal-vote-has-bumsex-on-the-barcode/

Fuck you! I told you time travel was real: http://www.newsweek.com/wyoming-man-time-travel-aliens-public-intoxication-678627

'Idiots of the century' photographed playing in baited crocodile trap in Australia
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/24/idiots-century-photographed-playing-baited-crocodile-trap-australia/

Type 'Gobshites' into googlemaps and see where it takes you

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/oct/25/everton-fans-liverpool-gobshites-google-maps-rival-stadium

Barnsley Man Set To Wed Unrelated Woman Who Doesn’t Live On The Same Street


http://www.rotherhambugle.com/2017/10/23/barnsley-man-set-to-wed-unrelated-woman-who-doesnt-live-on-the-same-street/

You do realise that's a spoof site, right?

Of course.

I was just checking.

This is my favourite line, from an article about a man shocked to realise he doesn't actually know most of his Facebook friends:

"People used to give up on imaginary friends by the age of ten, Facebook allows them to take them into adulthood".

Thieves Tried To Siphon Gas But They Sucked Out Sewage By Accident

http://viralslot.com/funny/thieves-tried-to-siphon-gas-but-the-sucked-out-sewage-by-accident/

Greggs says 'sorry' after Advent calendar launch replaces baby Jesus with sausage roll

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/15660326.Greggs_says__sorry__after_Advent_calendar_launch_replaces_baby_Jesus_with_sausage_roll/

Man Accidentally Shoots Himself and Wife in Church While Discussing Recent Church Shooting
http://people.com/crime/man-accidentally-shoots-himself-and-wife-in-church-while-discussing-recent-church-shooting/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/food/wp/2017/12/08/it-was-londons-top-rated-restaurant-just-one-problem-it-didnt-exist/?tid=pm_lifestyle_pop&utm_term=.9eba1225ad3c

Mum’s anger at use of the word ‘dick’ in Dick Whittington panto
http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/14/mums-anger-use-word-dick-dick-whittington-panto-7159354/

I hate everybody.