Bond 25: Lashana Lynch.

Pls follow the link. I am still choking on my corn flakes.

I don't know how accurate this is. The studio has not confirmed anything yet.

Sounds like a moffat style warm up for what will happen after Craig finally goes to me. But i may be exagerating the significance of Lashana's involvement in the project.

https://theplaylist.net/bond-25-lashana-lynch-new-007-20190714/

She's just taking over the codename. We will see a female Bond in the future, though. Nothing after Dalton matters to me so I don't give a flying fuck

Commander Maxil wrote:I think she's just taken the codename. She isn't actually replacing him as Bond I don't think.

agreed.

I just think in the current climate it could be a precursor to a reboot and a female bond. But i accept i may be misreading what is going on.

stengos wrote:

Commander Maxil wrote:I think she's just taken the codename. She isn't actually replacing him as Bond I don't think.

agreed.

I just think in the current climate it could be a precursor to a reboot and a female bond. But i accept i may be misreading what is going on.

I think that's probably the case. I bet this is just a trial run just as Missy was. I think we should all take this news as a warning.

Bowlestrek's been strangely quiet about this.

It's not going to happen. They always have female agents in Bond movies, I suspect they're just throwing a slightly tongue-in-cheek sop to these people. At best, she'll probably die or need to be saved by James. At worst, they might attempt a spin-off movie, but that'll be as far as it goes.

They should have done a Sheriff J.W Pepper spin-off series back in the seventies. J.W. Pepper goes on vacation to different countries and bumps into Roger Moore's Bond every time "You're that Secret Agent! That English secret agent! From England!"

iank wrote:It's not going to happen. They always have female agents in Bond movies, I suspect they're just throwing a slightly tongue-in-cheek sop to these people. At best, she'll probably die or need to be saved by James. At worst, they might attempt a spin-off movie, but that'll be as far as it goes.

I wouldn't have thought she would have to be saved by Bond. That would just create a shit storm of protest.

If she dies it will be Bond's fault because he was so preoccupied with trying to bed her / eating rich foods / sthg else filled with male toxicity.

By all means let them have a spin off movie. They said they would do so with Jinx after Die Another Day but then dropped it. If they did do such a spinoff they might stop this nonsense about rebooting Bond with a female lead.

I am pretty sure the plot will be as follows, give or take one or two minor details:

Bond meets girl.

Girls hates Bond. Wont shag him. Bond's toxic masculinity is offended.

Girl goes on mission but is overwhelmed and so Bond is asked to go after her.

He helps her escape.

Bond tells her to go home now cos this job needs a man.

Girl gets angry. Bond says "If only all pretty girls got angry then they would all be beautiful". Girl punches him in the nuts. Writhing on the ground in agony Bond says "I'm an English Man. I like birds". Bond begins to wonder if corny old lines from some of his old books are really helping him at this juncture, but his thoughts are interrupted when Girl stamps on his nuts. Bond tries sthg more modern - "No chance of a shag then?"

Girl finishes off the mission on her own. On completion she finds Bond languishing in a prison cell. She sets him free. In the semi darkness she realises he is a handsome bastard. Girl shags Bond but on her own terms. Bond lets himself be shagged on Girl's terms. After, Bond says "I thought you were a lesbian?" She says "I am. I like the inner strength that comes from within a woman after centuries of oppression by the male patriarchy. But i've never met a man before. It was better than tribbing". Overcome with shame at what she just said she punches Bond in the nuts. Really hard. Bond vomits. Then cries.

Blofeld appears, doesn't have anything to do then walks off set. Walzt is heard muttering to himself "What was the point of that?".

Back in London 3 months later Bond and the Girl meet again at the offices of Universal Export. Girl has large bump. Bond says "Is it mine?" Girl replies "Yes", "Shall we marry?" Girl says "Okay. We shall call her Jane. You can be my bitch". Bond simply replies "The future is female" with a really wet, pathetic, submissive look on his face.

Bond 26 skips a generation and 18 year old Jane is about to embark on a new career in the secret service sworn to root out toxic masculinity where ever it lies.

Britain's most racist, sexist newspaper is already whining that the move doesn't go far enough.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/jul/15/james-bond-007-black-female-actor-lashana-lynch-daniel-craig

Whatever concessions are given there will be a demand for more - all at the expense of the traditional ethos of the films. A compromise in Bond 25 where Bond is needed to rescue the new female 007 will just increase the volume of those wanting to see their chosen female character in the main role.

Also the Bond character is retired in this one. Craig is about to leave the role. Hence i think they are testing the water with Lynch. Then what they do to replace Craig could be more fundamental - all dependent on how well received Lynch is.

Long term it wont just be a female Bond. The character and style of the movies will have to change so it reflects a uniquely female perspective otherwise its just wimmin acting as men.

Following on from Ian,I hope Lynch's inclusion in Bond 25 does allow them to do a spin off series about a 008 or sthg. At least that way the Bond 007 character could live on in the cinema, even if they alternate between the two.

Otherwise its the books or the BBC Radio 4 Jarvis / Ayres dramatisations of those books that i will go to in future. They have produced 6 so far i think and they are quite good, fairly close to the books themselves bar some abridgement to fit the stories into the 1 and a half hour length.

ClockworkOcean wrote:Britain's most racist, sexist newspaper is already whining that the move doesn't go far enough.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/jul/15/james-bond-007-black-female-actor-lashana-lynch-daniel-craig

The Guardian sucks. I remember many of the readers raving about Whittaker and Chibnall as if Series 11 was the best thing in the world.

Apparently the term "Bond Girls" is BANNED from the Bond 25 set.

https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/films/1154075/James-Bond-25-set-banned-phrase-Bond-girls-Daniel-Craig-Lashana-Lynch-007-Nomi

Oh God, what a bunch of fairies.

A pity.

I'd been quite interested in giving Phoebe Waller-Bridge's Fleabag a look after hearing it recommended a lot.

It's disheartening to learn she's behind this.

Oh, it's already started. They just can't leave it well enough alone.

Silly Billy wrote:"Thoughts and prayers for everyone caught in this storm.

Hurricane Barry? No, I’m talking about the surge of white tears we’ll have to endure when word gets out  that the new 007 will be a black woman."

FuckCisFolk@stupidpeople.com wrote:"YOU CAN DO THESE TWO THINGS

1. Recognize the James Bond franchise is one rooted in imperialism, capitalism, misogyny & all the worst of 20th century British society
2. Happily bathe in the tears of white cis dudes who are self-destructing over a black woman playing 007"

Another fool wrote:"Even though I’m not a fan of the Bond franchise (mostly because of everything you listed in number one), I will gladly swim in the tears of cis white people crying over movie casting choices."

These tweets were all highlighted in an Indy100 article.

You may happily swim in my tears of laughter at your inane tweets  

I don't think I ever even brought up that she was black. Ever. That's not the issue here. WorldClassBullshitters explains:

Its not the skin colour that bothers me. Its the hard line feminist clap trap and misandrism that comes with it. If Lynch's character was just another 00 agent - a bit like like Sean Bean in Goldeneye - I would be less concerned although still nervous given Waller-Bridge's involvement.

They've already had female 007s and a black female James Bond in the original Casino Royale, I believe. So Waller-Bridge - whose name I used to think referred to one of those Scandi noir series - can shove that up her man-hating wotsit.

Commander Maxil wrote:Oh, it's already started. They just can't leave it well enough alone.

Silly Billy wrote:"Thoughts and prayers for everyone caught in this storm.

Hurricane Barry? No, I’m talking about the surge of white tears we’ll have to endure when word gets out  that the new 007 will be a black woman."

FuckCisFolk@stupidpeople.com wrote:"YOU CAN DO THESE TWO THINGS

1. Recognize the James Bond franchise is one rooted in imperialism, capitalism, misogyny & all the worst of 20th century British society
2. Happily bathe in the tears of white cis dudes who are self-destructing over a black woman playing 007"

Another fool wrote:"Even though I’m not a fan of the Bond franchise (mostly because of everything you listed in number one), I will gladly swim in the tears of cis white people crying over movie casting choices."

These tweets were all highlighted in an Indy100 article.

You may happily swim in my tears of laughter at your inane tweets  

I don't think I ever even brought up that she was black. Ever. That's not the issue here. WorldClassBullshitters explains:

Christ. Do these people actually exist?!

Well, they've gone and done it now. They've taken the lid off Pandora's Box and invited them across the threshold. Its a catch-22 situation now. If they don't do what the the nutjobs want they'll scream bloody murder and tear the house down and if they DO do what they want they'll tank the series.

There IS such a thing as bad publicity.

I'm just happy that I don't GAF about Bond past 1989 anyway, as I can actually just sit back and cackle at this retarded lunatic shit.

iank wrote:I'm just happy that I don't GAF about Bond past 1989 anyway, as I can actually just sit back and cackle at this retarded lunatic shit.

Yeah, Licence to Kill is my cut-off point as well.

Licence To Kill would've been a fine end-point.

The magic's gone out of the Bond series lately.

All we get at the moment is Daniel Craig being paid a fortune to mope around saying he hates the role, half-hearted gestures to the frappe latte crowd such as "The black woman might be Bond which is really empowering, though not really because then the old fans won't go and we won't sell as many Aston Martins", endless production delays and simply shoving whoever won an award recently into the mix to gain publicity - Rami Malek, Waller-Bridge, etc.

And then Lynch won't win an award for her role so the entire industry will be sexist / racist / sexist & racist (delete as appropriate)...

The last entry had a crap backstory, a wasted Waltz, a forgettable heavy, Craig going thru' the motions and one of the least tense car chases in movie history. Give me the grittiness of the Dalton entries, the camp escapism of the Moore years or the stylish flair of the Connery films!

The most recent James Bond film was great! I particularly enjoyed the fight scene between Roger Moore and Christopher Walken on top of the Golden Gate Bridge. I took Jennifer to see it and bought her the 7'' of the title song on the way home because she loves Duran Duran. I really hope Huey Lewis and the News do the theme for Bond '87.

I'm with you there, Calvin! AVTAK is ridiculously underrated.