Relationship Thread

Share and advise on matters of relationships: significant others, attempts to secure a significant other; alongside issues with family and friends, and do share any amusing anecdotes if you have them.

I'm guessing that the average guy here is quite the world-secure Casanova already, so this might not be the optimal place to host.

Myself: First year university, not in a relationship but I know a few people.

I've been 'talking' and had some great 'conversations'. You know, when the mutual attraction is so obvious that the rest of the world mutes out for a while? Der Vorfick? The flirting couldn't have been more obvious without her actually giving me a handjob there and then. This happens multiple times. Then it slips out: she has a boyfriend. What? And the flirting doesn't even stop. It’s almost tragic.

I'm not exactly 'morally opposed', maybe some of you are - but it does inspire a rather depressing view of relationships. I wouldn't be happy if my girlfriend was acting like this around other men. Could just be a university thing?

Any thoughts on this? Bumsen oder nicht bumsen?

Otherwise - I'd be willing to give advice myself if anybody cares for it.

Not worth it.

She'll do exactly the same to you.

End of the day it's a numbers game. Get involved in as many conversations as you can and make your excuses to the serial cheats unless you're going for the one off - and even that's risky - especially if you end up crossing paths with the boyfriend.

I have a face like a Picasso, so I've taken plenty of stink faces in my time. The trick is to find someone blind/tipsy enough to let your natural charm and winning optimism shine through.

I appreciate the response Boofer.

It seems certain that such a person is not 'relationship' material, so remaining questions are:

1. Would you pursue something more shallow and peripheral?

2. Would that distress you morally?

3. How prevalent is this behaviour in women?

4. Is it more usual for co-eds?


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Personally, I'm tending towards an affirmative on the first, a negative on the second, and my present experience has left me pessimistic for the prospects of the latter two.

5. Is it better to keep relationships shallow and plentiful in university (or equivalent)?

I'm not particularly invested in the concept of a 'deep, meaningful relationship', especially if it proves delusional - if she's talking to other men like that. I'm disposed to a 'yes' here.

Another question: what are everybody's thoughts on marriage?

I'm far too cynical myself. I also feel that the ring is more likely to feel constricting than assuring.

TiberiusDidNothingWrong wrote:I appreciate the response Boofer.

It seems certain that such a person is not 'relationship' material, so remaining questions are:

1. Would you pursue something more shallow and peripheral?

2. Would that distress you morally?

3. How prevalent is this behaviour in women?

4. Is it more usual for co-eds?


--

Personally, I'm tending towards an affirmative on the first, a negative on the second, and my present experience has left me pessimistic for the prospects of the latter two.

5. Is it better to keep relationships shallow and plentiful in university (or equivalent)?

I'm not particularly invested in the concept of a 'deep, meaningful relationship', especially if it proves delusional - if she's talking to other men like that. I'm disposed to a 'yes' here.

1. Yes. As long as I'm not hurting someone I respect in the process.

2. Depends on who it is. If the boyfriend was being an utter cunt to her, I'd have no qualms about it.

3. The cheating or the promiscuity? Cheating - failry common when you're young (sorry), as is the latter. Women are just as horny as men, if not more. Better a serial monogamist than a serial cheater though.

4. See my above comments on youth. It's also the time you're living in. We've undergone a huge cultural shift in terms of acceptable sexual and relationship behavior. Sex is a recreational pursuit for some. Doesn't mean a romantic relationship isn't possible at that age, but it's fraught with risks.

5. Yes, absolutely. I had a few casual flings in my first year at uni, entered a relationship and spent 4 years with someone extremely manipulative and abusive.

What advice would you give this guy: http://www.dworldaroundus.com/2018/11/01/man-sets-up-camera-to-find-ghost-but-catches-wife-with-teenage-son-instead/

Rawkuss wrote:What advice would you give this guy: http://www.dworldaroundus.com/2018/11/01/man-sets-up-camera-to-find-ghost-but-catches-wife-with-teenage-son-instead/

Long time no see. Welcome back. Also that's really fucked up!

Boofer wrote:
5. Yes, absolutely. I had a few casual flings in my first year at uni, entered a relationship and spent 4 years with someone extremely manipulative and abusive.

Care to tell the story? Any warning signs?

Rawkuss wrote:What advice would you give this guy: http://www.dworldaroundus.com/2018/11/01/man-sets-up-camera-to-find-ghost-but-catches-wife-with-teenage-son-instead/

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/11aitZSSRhHYuQ" width="480" height="205" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/11aitZSSRhHYuQ"></a></p>


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Oh, and one lesson I’ve learned recently - Occam's Razor.

Girl that seems to obviously be into me turns out to have a boyfriend - disillusionment, in that I could have been wrong; or is she a manipulative bitch, misleading me to boost her ego?
Neither: she wasn't happy with the relationship and she breaks up with him without much upset: and makes sure that I know it.

Simplest explanation takes head.

My problems resolved. Anybody else?

Rawkuss wrote:What advice would you give this guy: http://www.dworldaroundus.com/2018/11/01/man-sets-up-camera-to-find-ghost-but-catches-wife-with-teenage-son-instead/

Forgive the son - he's barely started out in life and full of hormonal crazy, but warn him he'll be excommunicated from the family if he ever does it again. Forgive, but never forget.

Her, meh. She's done. Out of there.

TiberiusDidNothingWrong wrote:
Care to tell the story? Any warning signs?

I can't really tell the story, but I can let you know a few warning signs.

- Catching them smelling your underwear for signs of minge juice.
- Questioning your desire to shower and smell nice.
- Turning up at the end of your shift without telling you - every day.
- Finding contacts mysteriously deleted from your phone, or read messages that you haven't seen.
- Attempts to re-codify the behaviour as loving concern, or gaslighting you into accepting that their insecurity is your fault.
- Pulls massive strops if you want to go out without them.
- Sets arbitrary 'tests' for you - like the 'you looked at her for too long' game.
- Accusing you of thinking about other people during sex.
- Re-framing innocent comments so they fit into her conspiracy i.e. like 'Yeah, she sang well', which would get a response like 'I know why you like her really'.
- Asking danger questions like 'What do you think of ___? That's a pretty dress she's wearing? Or absurd things like comparing themselves to 10/10s and wanting you to tell them they are better looking than a fucking model!

burrunjor wrote:

Rawkuss wrote:What advice would you give this guy: http://www.dworldaroundus.com/2018/11/01/man-sets-up-camera-to-find-ghost-but-catches-wife-with-teenage-son-instead/

Long time no see. Welcome back. Also that's really fucked up!

Thanks, been very busy lately.

Also, the new series is shit. Different kind of shit. I love that they have finally sorted the music out but the writing is just dull.

I'm still single lmao. Honestly I am a complete fucktard. I went to a nightclub and rejected three girls who came onto me because I was 'feeling ill' - they were actually good looking. I got the number from one of them but I didn't text her, looked her up on social media and she has a boyfriend now - too late.

My brain just doesn't want me to have a relationship at the moment.
Basic check: 'Is she single?' If yes, she isn't that interesting. She won't even tell me unless I ask her directly or find out otherwise, but it takes me that long to establish any interest.
Then, 'Does she want you anyway?': Yes? OK great, now ignore every fucking opening she gives you and reject her actual come-ons.

In so much proximity as I have sensed recently I actually feel lonely for the first time in my life. I know that if I jump into a relationship - even where that girl is very attractive - if she isn't 'the one' at that time I will not care and I'll probably be thinking about whoever else.

Girl mentioned before still has the boyfriend, is still giving me extremely obvious hints and doesn't seem happy with the relationship but then she ignores my texts when I do anything approaching making a move. I'm so confused. I just want to fuck this haze to be honest.

Forgive me I'm insober.

My major problem is that I become hyper-cynical in the moment. Even if I acknowledge that she's obviously flirting with me, the larger part of me drives me away in that cynicism - that what she is doing isn't genuine. Honestly the amount of openings this girl has given me that I've essentially rejected is ridiculous.

I don't know what's wrong with me.
This could have been solved last year.
In its stead I feel like absolute shit.

Hoping I can fix this before too long because it's the only thing on my mind tbh and that's no way to be.

I looked at a woman today.



I'm just waiting to find out how long I'm going to be in prison for

Dear diary,

I cannot believe how rare attractive women are even in the 18-19 crowd at university. In a slightly female dominated course.

There's literally one person that passes the 'pursue' threshold - my issues with I've mentioned before.
Peaks and troughs, currently a peak but I doubt it will last.

Others I'd be willing if they made a move but you know they'd never do that.

One person I talk to that is in the 'willing' crowd I just cannot see myself with sufficiently to be willing to press it.

I should probably expand my social circle because I've seen a handful of decent looking girls on my suggested friends on Facebook - that are in university.

I agree with the last bit. You should start expanding instead of limiting the options of possible mates by only focusing on those on your course. I was friends with many girls on my college course and not one of them was in my course. I was doing Media and most of female friends were from Child Care. Proper nice bunch. I curse myself for not trying to go that extra mile and ask one of them out.

I was with three girls between lectures today. The good looking one was giving such indicative body language, literally opening her legs and waving her legs in front of me.

I wanted to smash her so bad tbh.



She has a boyfriend so that probably won't happen for a few weeks at least.

If you're on the same course, try to engineer a situation where you end up doing a project together.

Failing that, just fucking ask her if she fancies going out for a casual pint. More a sort of 'I'm just off down the pub, fancy coming along?', not 'let's go out for a drink together'.

Girl is literally just ignoring me at the minute. I have no idea what she's thinking.

Things were really great at the end of the week (Friday the 1st).

We didn't talk over the weekend but then she never texts anyway so whatever.

Come back Monday, I approach her but she's not very receptive. I figure she's playing games again so I leave without extending it pointlessly (not unusual).

She completely blanks me Tuesday. We sit together in lectures pretty much every time we see each other. She sees me but avoids eye contact and sits somewhere else.

Don't really see her again until today where she does the same thing.



Why would she do that lmao? I can think of absolutely nothing that I've done to piss her off.

God I'm glad I don't have to worry about shit like this anymore!
I forgot how hard being a young man was, and it sounds like it's got even worse over time.

Nm she was completely fine today.



Still hasn't broken up with her boyfriend though. See what Friday brings when we could have 5 hours together again.

Boofer wrote:I had a few casual flings in my first year at uni, entered a relationship and spent 4 years with someone extremely manipulative and abusive.

Wow, what a pathetic sob story!

Boofer wrote:

TiberiusDidNothingWrong wrote:
Care to tell the story? Any warning signs?

I can't really tell the story, but I can let you know a few warning signs.

- Catching them smelling your underwear for signs of minge juice.
- Questioning your desire to shower and smell nice.
- Turning up at the end of your shift without telling you - every day.
- Finding contacts mysteriously deleted from your phone, or read messages that you haven't seen.
- Attempts to re-codify the behaviour as loving concern, or gaslighting you into accepting that their insecurity is your fault.
- Pulls massive strops if you want to go out without them.
- Sets arbitrary 'tests' for you - like the 'you looked at her for too long' game.
- Accusing you of thinking about other people during sex.
- Re-framing innocent comments so they fit into her conspiracy i.e. like 'Yeah, she sang well', which would get a response like 'I know why you like her really'.
- Asking danger questions like 'What do you think of ___? That's a pretty dress she's wearing? Or absurd things like comparing themselves to 10/10s and wanting you to tell them they are better looking than a fucking model!

You call that 'abuse'?

How fragile are you?

Ooh, a we have a burgeoning polemicist here, how wonderful.

GF was away recently with family.

I'll see her tomorrow.

I've been way too enthused about it on an unconscious level. I can tell because it's where my thoughts keep drifting and I've done almost no work since she left (especially today).

Becoming far too attached.



Bear in mind that high infatuation only exists to force the male into sticking around after impregnation, and is barely mutual once that happens.

She isn't pregnant but it's still obviously something to be avoided.