I just don't know what to do anymore

My family is going through a crisis. My 96 year old grandmother is dying, but is refusing to stay in the hospital. The hospital implamented a care package for her, so she had now returned home.

My mother is disabled and recently wrecked her car in the bad weather. Her husband is also disabled and has now the only car left. My sister has been helping a lot, and I appreciate that.

However....

The other day, the company in charge of sending carers to my grandmother fucked up entirely. Rota, scheduling, duties etc. My grandmother was left wearing soiled clothes and afraid to answer the door because the schedule she had been told was not happening, so she (as she is going demented) refused to answer the door when the carer came.

To help ease into the routine and iron out problems, my mother, who is also very ill, stayed with her all day to help her adust. She came home exhausted apparently.

Then yesterday happened.

The care company fucked up the care again, and my grandmother started to panic. Mum tried to call the care company to play hell and they turned out not to be passing on information. My step father drove her to my grandmother's house tp sort it out before bring her home.

My mother called me in Japan in tears. She said her mother isnt being cooparative and really should be in hospital. Caring for her is too much given her own fraily.

Anyway, at this point her husband had gone to work. Not having access to a car and having spent the last week purely caring for my grandmother meant that she had no food in stock.

So She called my elder sister. My sister refused because my mother wanted some meat. My sister claims to be vegetarian when he wants to be. She starts saying creepy shit about how her buddhist god (which is questionable anyway) wouldn't allow her to"harm others and if she did she should hurt herself."

Now this makes no sense anyway so some background info. My sister is a teacher (and frankly, she should'nt be) but has always acted strange. She will do crazy shit to always be the center of attention.

So I have my mother bawlling her eyes out sayng its all getting too much for her. I go on FB to message my sister to say grow up and help mum. She then sends me her BS answer. So I said she is a disgrace to the profession of teaching as a teacher should never refuse to help anyone based on personal beliefs. Both inside and outside of the classroom.

She replies with a picture of her wrists slit. So she essentialyl slit her wrists because she didn't want to buy meat for my mother.

So I spent last night (IN JAPAN) tryng to arrange an ambulance to her house, get nearby family to deal with it and console mum, while mum tries to deal with the poor care of the care company.

So basically, my sister has done it for attention again, because my gran is at the centre.

And my poor younger sister, who is also helping, got dragged into this mess and work is threatting to fire her if she keeps answering texts (which she has been doing) to help out with the crisis involvng my grandmother and now my insane sister.

I've asked my mother if I should come back to helpout, but the problem is I am in debt after a recent breakup and I wouldn't be entitled to any welfare for about a year having not been in the UK for 6 years.

My mother is at her witts end, my younger sister is overstreached and my insane sister is just making shit worse for everyone.

What can I do? I feel like a total wreck. What can I do?

PS= Sorry if this is unclear and babbly. I just came off a 12 hour shift and didn't sleep a wink during the night because of sorting this shit out. Now I have to go to work.

Fuck. Sorry to hear about all this. I don't know what else to say, are you massively in debt? What is it you do for a living? I only ask because you say you finished a shift but you would have to go on the dole if you came back here? You must speak Japanese pretty well, perhaps you could become a translator.

Man that sounds awful. Your sister clearly needs therapy. I'm sorry about your grandmother too. There needs to be better care for the elderly in our country. Its shit like this that makes me ashamed to be British. A woman I work with went through the same shit recently of carers being useless with her ailing mother. This countryis a disgrace.

Its a shame that you might have to move back here as I knew how much you loved living in Japan. I hope things improve for you soon.

Good business to business translators can earn 100 bucks for every 1000 words or so. Some go freelance, build a rep on places like odesk and charge high rates for high accuracy, quick turnover stuff.

Families, man...

I work as a teacher in Japan. My spoken Japanese is good but kanji is poor due to my eyesight issues. Being disabled and wanting to work gets you respect in Japan and it is quite easy to get work. I wasn't able to in the UK. I even had a British Gas interview where I heard HR say "Don't hire the blind guy."

I just want to punch my sister now. I can't believe how fucking insane she is. Clearly aspergus and selfishness rather than mental health.

I know how you feel. My family is going through a terrible time. My father has bladder cancer, and then a week after that bombshell, my uncle had a heart attack, has been in a coma for 3 weeks, and just this day we were told he was brain dead and wouldn't be waking up so they intend to pull the plug.

Finally on top of that in the last few days another close relative has a cancer scare (they are only 30.)

Needless to say 2018 is the worst year of my life and its only half way through.

Jesus, sorry to hear that, B. My family have nearly always died of cancer if they are male, but never that many in a year. Hope things pick up soon

Mr. Herpes wrote:Jesus, sorry to hear that, B. My family have nearly always died of cancer if they are male, but never that many in a year. Hope things pick up soon

Thanks that means a lot to me.

Sorry to hear about your family members too. It amazes me that we come up with all of these fictional monsters to scare us when we have enough shit to be scared of in the real world. I'd take a Vampire over fucking cancer any day.

Well just remember this whenever you go through a shit time.



Granted it certainly feels like it in this shitstain of a year.

I might have given slightly the wrong impression there, most of my uncles and all my grandparents died before I was born. One of my uncles died of it when I was in my teens and my died had it for ten years before passing in 2010. He was 65 which is no age really. When the time came they just upped the morphine and stopped feeding him. 24 hours later his heart stopped. Then my cousin had a scare at 42.

Any way,

I was very moved by this the other day. My father is 81 soon. Healthy, but I'm acutely aware of his mortality and the fact he won't be around forever. The same goes for my mother, who is a similar age, but struggling with health issues.

I guess the lesson is that it's never too late to realise the gifts your family have passed to you, and to show your appreciation for them.

My uncle passed today. I can't believe it. He was only 56. Its important to always value the people in your life as we really all could go at any moment. Talking to his daughter who was only 15 was the worst bit. If there is a God he is a sadist.

That's devasting to hear about your uncle.

Here is a sobering prospect. Go on a forum for people with depression, I did.

I had been sat around just before thinking to myself that I wasn’t really depressed and I knew it really and I was faking and should be ashamed of myself and people don’t care about me, it’s just something they say which makes them liars and I can’t trust liars, blah, blah, blah…

Then I snapped out of it and thought “there must be people more depressed than me. I know! I can find them on the internet! So I did.

Fuck me… Those guys are fucked up, the poor shits... but I was scrolling through the posts and I came across one that said “I feel like people don’t care about me and they are just lying when they say they do…,” and so on. And I froze cos it was near enough what I had just been thinking. And then it happened again. “I keep thinking to myself that I am faking it and…” And it kept happening. Posts that were months or even years old repeating my private thought back to me on the screen.

It was a real awakening.

You haven't lost while you are still breathing.

I had a real bad spell of anxiety and depression a few years back. I can tell you what worked for me but the truth is it's your depression. Some people find councilling and medication works for them. I found that to be a very mixed bag. It's also good if you can find somebody to talk to... but that didn't really work for me either. You need to try these things though - if you aren't already.

The thing that helped me was finding a purpose to my life, a hobby, an interest, or throwing yourself into your work will do it. You have mentioned a couple of times that meeting somebody is hard for you. Get out there. You owe it to yourself. Speed dating or an online site like Plenty of Fish.

I have done the Plenty of Fish thing, and... that's another story. You could also try volunteer work through Do-it.org or try a social/interest group through Meetup.com. Won't directly affect your romantic life perhaps but you will meet people and that's the first step.

Somebody once described depression to me as an intelligent virus. And the way to fight it is to do what it tells you not to. Walk when you don't feel like it cos depression is telling you not to. Go to the gym when depression is telling you not to. Talk to people when it tells you not to.

Of course, it helps if like me you have OCD (Obstinate Cunt Disorder)

What a depressing fucking thread.

You guys need to go and watch some adorable kitten videos or something.

DeadManRising wrote:What a depressing fucking thread.

You guys need to go and watch some adorable kitten videos or something.

These are better for cheering me up personally.





These kids are the most adorable thing ever to exist! Its the wee dance the little girl does that's the cutest!

Well I'd just be grateful that I live in a civilised country like Japan if I was you. A country with a low crime rate and falling birth rate. Although you certainly have my sympathy with your recent family woe. Also what you had to put up with in your hometown sounds apalling (and somewhat eerily familiar) and I'd hazard a guess those thugs were indigenous (probably wearing tracksuits as well) and are precisely the sort of people I think should be taken out of the reproductive lottery. They're probably pillars of the local community now and tailoring a society to suit other aggressive bullies like themselves (probably their own bastard offspring). Really we need to stop a lot of people from breeding in this country if we want to create a passive and violence free society and the greater part of the indigenous ethnic population should be our chief target.

Final Pattern wrote:Well I'd just be grateful that I live in a civilised country like Japan if I was you. A country with a low crime rate and falling birth rate. Although you certainly have my sympathy with your recent family woe. Also what you had to put up with in your hometown sounds apalling (and somewhat eerily familiar) and I'd hazard a guess those thugs were indigenous (probably wearing tracksuits as well) and are precisely the sort of people I think should be taken out of the reproductive lottery. They're probably pillars of the local community now and tailoring a society to suit other aggressive bullies like themselves (probably their own bastard offspring). Really we need to stop a lot of people from breeding in this country if we want to create a passive and violence free society and the greater part of the indigenous ethnic population should be our chief target.

What the absolute fuck? You have to be a troll.

TiberiusDidNothingWrong wrote:

Final Pattern wrote:Well I'd just be grateful that I live in a civilised country like Japan if I was you. A country with a low crime rate and falling birth rate. Although you certainly have my sympathy with your recent family woe. Also what you had to put up with in your hometown sounds apalling (and somewhat eerily familiar) and I'd hazard a guess those thugs were indigenous (probably wearing tracksuits as well) and are precisely the sort of people I think should be taken out of the reproductive lottery. They're probably pillars of the local community now and tailoring a society to suit other aggressive bullies like themselves (probably their own bastard offspring). Really we need to stop a lot of people from breeding in this country if we want to create a passive and violence free society and the greater part of the indigenous ethnic population should be our chief target.

What the absolute fuck? You have to be a troll.

No, just someone who doesn't like thugs and the majority I've met tend to be white British.

Final Pattern wrote:

No, just someone who doesn't like thugs and the majority I've met tend to be white British.

Here's the biggest correlation: social alienation leads to increased crime and social behaviour.

Social alienation meaning that the group or person under analysis is distanced from another significant part of the population. Perhaps the largest cause of this is economic disadvantage.

If you live in an area of Britain that is predominantly white and lower-class - most criminals will be white-British. It doesn't take much cognition to realise that.

In those parts of Britain with larger non-white communities - it is usually those communities that commit the most crime per capita. This is most likely because non-white correlates with economic disadvantage. There is also the matter of non-integration, which - especially for Muslims - greatly correlates with increased crime, in the same manner.

Bear in mind that any mention of 'advantage' is used in a statistical sense, and from a position of birth - this is not a moral discussion, nor a social-conjectural one.

Regardless, the most mystifying part of your post regards Eugenics. None of this thus far has related to genetics, and yet you are trying to use it to justify controlling the gene pool. To wipe out 'native populations' which screams none-sensical. It reads that this stems from a purely emotional, non-rational tribalistic hatred you have towards, presumably, white-British people. An anger, the same kind of anger that is the cause of the 'thuggery' that you are supposed to be condemning.

An amusing read, for sure.

TiberiusDidNothingWrong wrote:

Final Pattern wrote:

No, just someone who doesn't like thugs and the majority I've met tend to be white  British.

Here's the biggest correlation: social alienation leads to increased crime and social behaviour.

Social alienation meaning that the group or person under analysis is distanced from another significant part of the population. Perhaps the largest cause of this is economic disadvantage.

If you live in an area of Britain that is predominantly white and lower-class - most criminals will be white-British. It doesn't take much cognition to realise that.

In those parts of Britain with larger non-white communities - it is usually those communities that commit the most crime per capita. This is most likely because non-white correlates with economic disadvantage. There is also the matter of non-integration, which - especially for Muslims - greatly correlates with increased crime, in the same manner.

Bear in mind that any mention of 'advantage' is used in a statistical sense, and from a position of birth - this is not a moral discussion, nor a social-conjectural one.

Regardless, the most mystifying part of your post regards Eugenics. None of this thus far has related to genetics, and yet you are trying to use it to justify controlling the gene pool. To wipe out 'native populations' which screams none-sensical. It reads that this stems from a purely emotional, non-rational tribalistic hatred you have towards, presumably, white-British people. An anger, the same kind of anger that is the cause of the 'thuggery' that you are supposed to be condemning.

An amusing read, for sure.

Well I didn't specifically mention eugenics in this thread. I was rather alluding to rethinking reproductive ethics by questioning the assumption that everyone in society has a universal right to reproduce. I would use eugenics to target the prison population where it is established that a significant proportion of the inmates are genetically predisposed to commit violent crime. We can safely assume the general prison population is more fertile than the law abiding population so mandatory sterilization of prison inmates could reap dividends in only a generation. Eugenics is only one part of the equation and I would support efforts to alleviate social deprivation so everyone can enjoy the spoils of society. One way to ameliorate the lower classes is for a cap to be put on reproduction through public campagins such as Singapore's 'Pledge Two or Fewer'. Even the great philosopher and economist John Stuart Mill recognised that the working class could enjoy increased prosperity if they stopped having so many bloody children. The welfare state would have to be adjusted to penalize unlimited fecundity. Another method I would use is the Chinese One Child policy which I was a great admirer of and much like that policy I would be amenable to religious minorities such as Muslims being accorded exceptions. After all how many Muslims have we seen on the 'Jeremy Kyle Show' over the years?  Then I would revive movements such as Kibbo Kift to teach the alienated sections of society to take a pride in the countryside and extolling simple values such as pacifism. A ban on all "popular culture" would have to come into effect.

Final Pattern wrote:

I would use eugenics to target the prison population where it is established that a significant proportion of the inmates are genetically predisposed to commit violent crime. We can safely assume the general prison population is more fertile than the law abiding population so mandatory sterilization of prison inmates could reap dividends in only a generation.

Crime isn’t caused by genetics to any substantial degree. An antisocial personality is most often defined during childhood development.

Final Pattern wrote:

Eugenics is only one part of the equation and I would support efforts to alleviate social deprivation so everyone can enjoy the spoils of society. One way to ameliorate the lower classes is for a cap to be put on reproduction through public campagins such as Singapore's 'Pledge Two or Fewer'. Another example I would use is the Chinese One Child policy which I was a great admirer of and much like that policy I would be amenable to religious minorities such as Muslims being accorded exceptions.

Again, you have yet to make a good argument for said birth control. The birth rate for ‘native populations’ in Western countries is already low. If overpopulation would be your argument then, if anything, if would be immigrant and non-Western populations that would be best targeted. China’s one-child policy was adopted due to massive overpopulation, likewise for Singapore I would assume. This is not comparable to the situation in the Western Countries under discussion.

Of course, you wouldn’t bother to apply the same standards to populations that fit more neatly into your arguments of crime and overpopulation. Hmm … I’m getting the sense that your blatantly inconsistent ‘rational’ arguments aren’t your real motivation here.

Final Pattern wrote:
After all how many Muslims have we seen on the 'Jeremy Kyle Show' over the years?  

This has to be a joke.

Final Pattern wrote:

Then I would revive movements such as Kibbo Kift to teach the alienated sections of society to take a pride in the countryside and extolling simple values such as pacifism. A ban on all 'popular' culture would have to come into effect.

Integration is good, but your preference to immigration and Islam over the native British population tells me you don’t actually want that.

Pacifism is a worthless philosophy.

Banning popular culture doesn’t make sense.

TiberiusDidNothingWrong wrote: Crime isn’t caused by genetics to any substantial degree. An antisocial personality is most often defined during childhood development.

Even if crime isn't genetic to any significant degree (and that's far from certain) and we are all born 'tabula rasa' should criminals still be allowed to reproduce? We accept criminals should suffer a loss of certain liberties but not something which would be considered a natural right (whatever that is)?. To me that seems unfair when there are plenty of people who are good citizens yet will never have the chance to reproduce.

TiberiusDidNothingWrong wrote:
Again, you have yet to make a good argument for said birth control. The birth rate for ‘native populations’ in Western countries is already low. If overpopulation would be your argument then, if anything, if would be immigrant and non-Western populations that would be best targeted. China’s one-child policy was adopted due to massive overpopulation, likewise for Singapore I would assume. This is not comparable to the situation in the Western Countries under discussion.

Of course, you wouldn’t bother to apply the same standards to populations that fit more neatly into your arguments of crime and overpopulation. Hmm … I’m getting the sense that your blatantly inconsistent ‘rational’ arguments aren’t your real motivation here.

Perhaps I was being slightly biased against the indigenous population. Population planning should be applied across the board as we appear to exist in a Malthusian catastrophe where the size of the population has outgrown the economy.

I went for a walk today and I had some complete mug slow down next to me on a bike, call me a name and then talk shit about me to his friends as I walked past. What did I do other than walk normally? It really ruined what was supposed to be a stress-free walk. Doesn't do anything to ease my constant paranoia.

Commander Maxil wrote:I went for a walk today and I had some complete mug slow down next to me on a bike, call me a name and then talk shit about me to his friends as I walked past. What did I do other than walk normally? It really ruined what was supposed to be a stress-free walk. Doesn't do anything to ease my constant paranoia.

Human beings are bullies and will always go for the easy target (speaking from my own experience I've been set on by feral youths). I avoid teenagers in groups and children like the plague. They get away with murder now, quite literally! Murder has become a form of self expression to the youth of today. If you object to being murdered by a gang of youths you're intolerant. Of course the do-gooders who defend violent youth do not have to live in close proximity to the scum they defend and make sure their lives will never be on the same trajectory so therefore can cultivate an exceedingly tolerant worldview from a very safe distance.