Best chat up lines?

"As long as I have a face, you'll always have a seat."

"Nice legs girl. What time do they open?"

Wait till I hit Ingrid Oliver or Dana Delorenzo with the wormdo line.

What's a wormdo?

Do you work for NASA?

Cos I wanna take a rocket to Uranus!

"Alright luv, fancy a shag?"

'You look great, I mean ... you aren't like ... a supermodel or anything ... in a good way ... like, down to earth ... but you don't look bad, at all ... like, overall ... I mean, you're definitely above average ... you know?'

"Hi, I'm not Maxil."

''Tell me, do you use Timoteii?'

Cunnus Maximus wrote:"Hi, I'm not Maxil."

''Look out birds, here come the Hammersmith hard men.''

This is usually how it goes for me...

"Let's play Carpenter. First we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you"

"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?"

I wonder how many of these actually work?

The absolute worst one's I've heard are:

"Excuse me, but my penis doesn't seem to be inside you yet."
"What a lovely bitch, and your dog isn't bad either."
"Babe, I've been in the military for years, but never have a stood to attention quite like after seeing you."


The worst chat up line was when my Chinese-Malaysian friend and I were in Thailand. Some fat yank comes up to her.
"Hey babe, wanna see real American white cock? You love me long time? Is 3000 baht enough?"
My friend, rightfully angry responded, "I'll have you know I'm a human rights lawyer on business her on behalf of the UN!"
The man responded, "2000 baht?"
She proceeded to kick the ever loving crap out of him. God it was awesome. One of my happiest memories of living in Thailand.

Pepsi Maxil wrote:"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?"

That's actually hilarious.